Psalm 139:17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! 18 I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!

One definition of “precious” that I found is “favorite”.  I am God’s favorite thing to think about!  He thinks of me with such constancy that there is no way to keep track of it.  As I move about my day, and even while I am sleeping, HE is thinking about me!

I know that when I am excited about something, that is ALL I can think about.  With every waking moment, even in my sleep sometimes, that thing is constantly on my mind.  How much more does God think about me?  And sometimes, my favorite things, or the things that excite me, change, and therefore my thoughts about those things change.  God is unchanging.  I will always be His favorite thing to think about.

Oh God, thank you for thinking of me with such constancy and excitement.  Help me to keep you in that same place in my mind.  May my first thought each and every morning be on You.  As I lay awake so many times at night, unable to sleep, may I turn my thoughts to You.  Let me just ponder your goodness, your faithfulness, your love, your beauty, your character.  You truly are my favorite.

• 1 Corinthians 2:9-10 “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him – but God has revealed it to us by his spirit. The spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.”

NOT ONE of the many smart, observant, capable people that exsist in this world, can mind-read God.  It takes us getting past our own abilities to understand things, and depend on Him to show us.  Only by searching him, and knowing Him, can He reveal these things to us.  Even the incomprehensible deep things of Him.

Am I being proactive about asking God to reveal His mysteries to me?  Am I relying too much on my own intellect to understand His ways?

Lord, my deep thing of you that I need your mind about right now is patience.  Help me to understand what it really is, what it really looks and acts and feels like.  Let me understand your purpose in it.  Let me trust your command of it.  There’s got to be a reason you listed it as the first attribute of love.  Help me find the balance between my own personality and Your thoughts.

Mark 12:30 so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.’

Loving Him requires action and thought.  What am I passionate about?  Love HIM in those things.

My prayers…. Love God.  My thoughts, ideas, inspirations…. Love God in them.  My energy, such as it is…. Love God.

Jesus, precious Jesus.  Let my love for you come out in everything that I do, let my love for you be radiant.  As I create, imagine, and develop my entrepreneurial spirit, let my love for YOU, the Creator of all…. Shine.  Let my thoughts first turn to prayer in everything. 

Mark 8:35 Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self.36 What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?

Many times, we think that we know what’s best.  The best way to solve a problem, the best way to feel, the best way to handle our money, the best way to parent, the best way to love.   The list goes on.  Chances are, we’re not even thinking, “This is the best way”, we’re just on auto-pilot, doing what we’ve always done, doing things OUR way.  What we are doing is sabotaging ourselves, losing our true selves in the sick pit of “self”.   What a significant irony.  When we sacrifice ourselves, assuming and acting on the knowledge that we DON’T know the best way to do or solve things… we truly become ourselves.

I need to daily, take my “self” to God.  Humble myself, confess my disgusting pride, and listen.  Listen to his ways, thoughts, desires, ideas.

Oh Jesus, your ways are amazing.  You are showing yourself so faithful to me.  Proving to me that you are who you say you are, that you know me better than I know myself.  That by giving in, and trusting you, you are fulfilling my desires so much better than I ever could.  I will never be wanting for my own ideas and thoughts, so show me the balance between my own personality and your plans.  I know you have an exciting future to unfold before me, give me the patience and the faith to see it through. 

1 Samuel 26:6-7 “The LORD knows I shouldn’t have done that to my lord the king,” he said to his men. “The LORD forbid that I should do this to my lord the king and attack the LORD’s anointed one, for the LORD himself has chosen him.” 7 So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul. (NLT)

So here’s David, a bold warrior, a sensitive worshipper, a fearless leader being presented with an opportunity to finally rid himself of crazy King Saul who has been relentlessly pursuing him out of his irrational fear, but David does not take it.  David had every right to take his vengeance, he had the encouragement of his men to take his revenge, and he undoubtedly had his own emotions that were catapulting him towards relieving himself of his enemy.  This wasn’t just the guy in his army who bugged him, or someone who owed him money, or a person spreading rumors about him.  This was his mentor, who suddenly turned against him with such force as to hunt him down like an animal to kill.  David had been running and hiding from him for months, was sure to be exhausted and wanting to go home, and STILL had the ability to listen and obey God’s voice over that of his men, his own desires, and even common sense.  He gave up his rights in that moment.  Not only did he let Saul live, but he honored him before witnesses and humbled himself before him.  He recognized and declared before everyone that Saul was God’s anointed, and even defended him against an attack by his men.  He even repented for toeing the line in taking his revenge. 

This goes beyond forgiveness.  Am I willing to give up my right to be angry?  Give up my right take my vengeance?  Give up my right to listen to my well meaning supporters telling me that I have every right to feel the way I do?  Give up my right to indulge my own trashed emotions?  Not to mention… humble myself before my enemies, honor them as God’s children, and do it in front of witnesses?! 

Um, Lord this is really a big pill to swallow.  I'm going to need a big ol' glass of water with this one.  Good thing you are the wellspring of life, the living water, the well that never runs dry. 

 

1 Corinthians 10:23 Looking at it one way, you could say, "Anything goes. Because of God's immense generosity and grace, we don't have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster." But the point is not to just get by. 24 We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well. (MSG)

It would be easy to say that so many things in this life are permissible because of God’s character of grace and understanding.  And with the gradual blurring of the morality lines that we are constantly surrounded by in this world, that tendency is only getting easier.  But we don’t want to live like that, we’re not called to live in mediocrity.  We are called to live in holiness AND grace.  Grace can abound even more in an attitude of absolutes, of obeying right from wrong, in believing in a life of substance.  And in the course of us living in holiness, the point is to show Jesus to those around us.  We don’t want to portray a rigid, unrealistic lifestyle, but a life of happiness, morality and integrity that others not only want to be around, but want to emulate.

What are the things in my life that are holding me back from living this kind of life? 

Oh Lord, reveal to me those things that you want purged from my life.  Let me walk the line of holiness and grace.  Let my life be a clear reflection of You.

1 Samuel 25:29 “Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the LORD your God, secure in his treasure pouch! But the lives of your enemies will disappear like stones shot from a sling! (NLT)

The image I have in my mind as I read this is of me, all cozied up in a little pouch that is securely belted on God’s hip.  I’m imagining that it sort of looks like the inside of the Genie’s bottle from the “I dream of Genie” show.  You know, with pillows of all different colors, sparkly beaded curtains….  I’m wearing jewels.  This pouch after all is God’s wallet, where He keeps His treasure… me.  Somewhere outside my beautiful pouch home, I can hear the pursuers.  I can hear them breathing, gnashing, running, getting closer, snapping to bite the pouch off of God’s hip.  I’m not worried though, I’m just relaxing on my big plush pillows feeling quite pampered.  Then I hear a yelp and a Wiley Cyote whistle as without even missing a step, God kicks the pursuer into the next universe.  Thanks God!  That was nice of you.  I didn’t even feel that.

Is it possible that sometimes I don’t even need to be an active participant in my battles?  That it’s enough to rest in God’s strength knowing that He thinks I’m valuable enough to protect?  Just my existence has worth?  It’s OK for me to bask in the knowledge of that and listen to God wage the war for me outside of my protective bubble?  Wow.  That sure takes the pressure off. 

God, thank you for treasuring me.  Thank you for providing a protective environment for me.  Thank you for fighting off those who attack me.  I am your grateful jewel.

Mark 16:3 They worried out loud to each other, “Who will roll back the stone from the tomb for us?”4 Then they looked up, saw that it had been rolled back—it was a huge stone—and walked right in.

The women were busy about the Lord’s work, and being women, were worried about the job ahead of them.  They knew that THEY couldn’t roll back the stone, it was too heavy for them.  So they did what they could do, and proceeded trusting that somehow they would be able to complete their task, even though they couldn’t do it alone.  They didn’t arrange for men to help, they just wondered and trusted, and WENT ANYWAY.  They did their end, and God did his.

In my own life, I often wonder how something will work out.  There are so many things that now as a single woman, a single mother… I have NO IDEA how it’s all going to work together for good.  I don’t need to worry about it, or make arrangements.  I just need to keep doing my end, and God will do his.

Jesus, thank you for all that you are teaching me about trust.  I never thought I would be in this place, but here I am , and here you are.  May all of my efforts be about your work.  May my end be my absolute best.  May the things I’m teaching my children stick somewhere in their hearts, and may you fill up the gaps, cracks and holes.  May my efforts be supernaturally multiplied.  May my two hands seem like many. 

Followers

Dear Treasured Followers,

I am still working out the kinks in this blog and need your help.  If you selected "Follow by email" and put your email in the little white box, I need you to do one more step.  If you have not already done so, would you also please click the gray "Follow" button on the bottom of the page?

Your emails and Facebook messages to me have been so encouraging.  Thank you!

Jules

2 Corinthians 1:9 We felt like we'd been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally-not a bad idea since he's the God who raises the dead!

Being on “death row” is a pretty desperate situation, which obviously brought Paul to the end of himself.  Even the mighty apostle Paul, had to come to a place where he literally could not figure himself out of the mess he was in on his own strength.  Even he was “forced” to trust God, when hello!, why can’t we just trust him from the get go, since He is the ALMIGHTY.

Like Paul, I have lived pretty much the last year at the end of myself.  The heart break and pain has ended up leading me to the most liberating way of life…. Relinquishing my control over what I never really could control anyway.  My own strength and smarts, is put to better use in trusting.

Lord, thank you for this awesome reminder.  For showing me that even Paul struggled with this very issue.  Please keep me in this state of mind forever.  Keep my trust in YOU without bringing me to my end through heart break again.  Let me learn through wisdom and not mistakes.  I pray that for my children too.  Let wisdom, understanding and trust be their guides as they learn to follow you.  And in everything, let them LOVE you and rest in your incredible love for them.

Psalm 89:2 … Your love has always been our lives' foundation; your fidelity has been the roof over our world. 17 Your vibrant beauty has gotten inside us-you've been so good to us! (MSG)

We are encased by His love and faithfulness.  The foundation, upon which everything in our lives is built, is God’s LOVE.  His love anchors the walls of who we are; our decisions, our will, our families, our desires.  Would God build all of these things in us, only to leave it unprotected?  No, He covers us with his faithfulness.  His faithfulness shelters us when there are storms raging in our lives.  How can we do anything but reflect His beauty and be full of life when we are so completely taken care of by His goodness?

I can rest knowing that the base of my existence is God’s love.  Nothing can separate me from it.  It is at the core of me.  He lovingly builds me, corrects me, nurtures me, grows me, and then stays true to me.  I can rest knowing that his faithfulness will take care of the things that he has taken the time to put in me.  When I do that, his joy will show on me!

Jesus, what an amazing God you are.  To love me so much that you made a plan to protect me too.  That is so awesome!  Let me just keep building with you.  Thank you for your love, faithfulness and goodness.

Psalm 72:6 Be rainfall on cut grass, earth-refreshing rain showers. Let righteousness burst into blossom (MSG)

This verse reminds me of spring.  For gardeners like me, springtime is synonymous with new life.  Plants that have remained dormant all throughout the winter, slowly and carefully emerge.  The rains water them, the sun warms them, then suddenly one day, they are bursting with their potential.  I love the first morning of the year when I am awoken by the sounds of lawn mowers and the smell of freshly cut grass.  Springtime in Washington often means we have to hurry and get the lawn mowed before the rain comes.  Well, when we manage to beat the rain, as it falls on the yard, it only heightens the fresh smell of the grass…. And I really think if I watch the tulips, I can see them rise in the rain.  We need the rain in the spring, as it awakens what is just below the surface. 

What season of life am I in?  I would have to say that I am feeling quite springish.  I feel things just below the surface getting ready to blossom.  I welcome the rain, the refreshing power and anointing of God. 

Bring it God!  Pour out your cleansing, refreshing rain on my life.  Let it seep into my spirit.  Let it flood onto my family, my friends, my kids.  Water the new things growing inside of me.  Let me soak it all up so I’ll instinctively know when to BLOOM.